New Paltz LARP

April 1, 2009

THE GNOMISH CONSPIRACY

Posted by Sparrow/Druku/Samuel

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Those of the true art will know from previous articles that gratuitous statistical consistencies have shown a drop-off in the census numbers of gnomes in bordering countries. The rumors are many. Our very own Scar has his own naïvely outlook on the matter, citing fool’s gold-like prophecies and less than concrete details that lead to the wrong ideas. Now, I’m not one to cry foul on the “official” story served to us by the mainstream, but something just doesn’t add up. We take each individual piece of this supposed “drop” in gnome population separately. We don’t piece things together. And when we do try to put together these individual numbers, things don’t add up. Am I saying that it’s a conspiracy? No. But I have questions.

Let’s start with the facts. No opinions. No slant, no bias. Just facts.

Fact: The Tear drop Isles were recently accepted as a nation. The first Gnomish nation in existence. Is this a problem? No. Of course not.

Also a fact: Shortly after the instatement of the nation, the Gnomish population from all around the world dropped like flies. Huh. Isn’t that weird? Has no one questioned this yet?

Listen, has anyone thought about this yet? I’ve been around. I was a reporter in Exbaltaira during my youth, and I’m not inexperienced; I’ve seen things that would blow the minds of normal people. And you know what? I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve seen races- deceivingly small in both number and stature–conceal themselves, only to rise up when the time is right and strike.

So what is the answer to all this? Immigration? Is that it? HAH. Don’t make me laugh. Sure, if you want to believe the OFFICIAL story. But that’s just naïve. You expect me to believe that legions of Gnomes are uprooting themselves from their- I don’t know what they live in- boots? And traveling all the way to Tear Drop Isles for the sole purpose of forming a community? Yeah. Right.

Sure, let’s go with that. Let’s say that the only reason they’ve magically “vanished” since The Isles’ instatement is because the Gnomes were traveling to the country. Well then let’s take a look at another fact:

Fact: There has been a direct drop off in taxing prices, as well as the reveal of several undocumented sales interactions. What have the Gnomes been trading? I don’t know. But it’s big. And it’s right under our noses.

There is a mystery going on in Tear Drop Islands, and whatever it is, it’s something very sinister. I am afraid, Kasinthia, and you should be too. You should be, too.

Hobbes Mcfarland (Peri)

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