New Paltz LARP

January 28, 2013

POST FOURTH WAR COUNCIL COMES TO AN END

Posted by Sparrow/Druku/Samuel

Tags: , , ,

Well, there you have it, the Fourth War has been signed and ended, and the results of all the messy trials have been taken care of in this glorious Gathering of 777. There was a record showing of reporters, with a large bulk apparently coming from Exbaltaira. Most were shut out when not only did they not have the credentials, the papers, but they could barely even write.
The first decision to be made was letting Sarenú as a Republic into the Council. The split vote quickly took a nose dive when Jarlsjalfi boldly threatened to stop trading with anyone who voted against the matter, and things quickly simmered into accepting the new government. The big debate came with letting Berista back into the council. In the end, Berista was let back in, but will pay for the costs it inflicted on everyone else. It was marred by the near tying, and the chaos that came afterwards. Elder Cupboard of Bree went to break the tie, but instead was met with an attempt at a Vote of No Confidence. Finally, the Sarenúian representative arrived and the result was placed on his shoulders, with the result mentioned above.

The sentencing of the Former Queen Faelin was delayed the first day, but was sentenced to house arrest on the arrival of the second day.Ko’ebbe has not been let back onto the Council, but instead will be allowed a representative in the Crusaders until they stop being backward hate mongerers.

The Mad Queen Lisette was voted to be Not Guilty, and allowed back onto her throne, due to fantastic claims of blood magic mind controlling. Of course, this did not stop King Rhosis’s Orphanage from wanting to secede from Bawerstrom.

On the brighter side, the Mad King Halldhor was indeed sent to jail, despite making ludicrous claims that his crown “made him crazy.” On a more delectable side, King Halldhor’s severe abuse of the young boys of his private army was exposed for all to see.

Afterwards, Council Royal, King Matarian of Famardy was put on trial, almost hilariously so, as apparently no one had been informed of this trial, especially King Matarian. Despite Matarian being a murderer and all around jerk, there was a high percentage of people voting him innocent, most likely not wanting to start another war with anyone.

With the temporary mutiny resolved, Argollo Halfelven was charged with the murder of King Maenïr and the stealing of the Ko’ebbian crown. Despite most voting him guilty, the Council subverted the wishes of the popular vote, and merely made him return the crown, in another fine example of our government at work.

There were, of course, trials of lesser importance. Shea “the Baker” Ras’nosse went through a trial after being accused of killing Queen Calip’tila. Needless to say, the whole thing was a waste of time, and she was charged with being not-guilty. Another trial involved something involving a man who got into a bad morphing potion incident requesting help with his war on an island, and making a minor bridge connected to Bree. The final trial-lite that occurred was Queen Helga of the Trolls once again requesting her slobbering brutes be recognized as a kingdom. This was turned down hysterically so, but she did receive allotted territory for her kin.

Finally, after all the dawdling with silly trials, an important topic came up: official currency. Good news, Kasinthians, the Arvir is going international.

Everyone can breathe a sigh of relief. Sure, there is a Minotaur loose, killing our innocents, Bawerstrom is a black rubble, Exbaltaira is starting a Social Justice parade, Jarlsjalfi has closed its official bank indefinitely, Breeans are rioting against their king because of a delayed holiday, our royal dynamics have been changed irrevocably forever, and goat men exist. But hey! At least the war is over…right?

~Hobbes Mcfarland

ASSORTED HEADLINES FROM THIS ISSUE:

KING WÁNWAROR FOUND: NOT DEAD
SEARCH FOR LEADER GERONTIUS OF FORMER EAST FARTHING PROVES FRUITLESS
CALANTHAN BOMB FACILITY REPORTS MASS THEFT
JARLSJALFIAN BANK CAPITOL SHUTS DOWN FOR REPAIRS
MINOTAUR FREE
BREE REBELS THREATEN TO BURN DOWN TREE OF SHRAP’SIOR
BAWERSTROM REBELS ALL BRUTALLY SLAUGHTERED BY CRUSADERS
SOUTHWESTERN ICE: MELTING?!?!
EXBALTAIRA REPORTS HIGH AMOUNT OF HOMOSEXUALITY
DECREASE IN FRESKAN SEABIRD POPULATION
DWARVISH WEAPONS: JUST A FAD?
THE ARVIR AND ITS POWER
FIFTY SHADES OF ILLUSIONS: A BOOK REVIEW
HOW TO TELL IF A GNOME IS REALLY AN ELDAR ARTIFACT IN DISGUISE
SLOWBEARS: THE PERFECT PET
MAGES REBELLION MOVED TO TEARDROP ISLANDS
ONISIA RIVER EXHIBITS STRANGE MAGIC EXCESS
EXBALTAIRAN COMPLAINER PRINTS THREAT TO KASINTHIAN TIMES
FARTHING: RECOVERING FROM GENOCIDE
EXBALTAIRAN WOMEN HELP REBUILD FARTHING
SARENU EXPERIENCING DIFFICULTY IN ESTABLISHING “REPUBLIK”
BERISTA: PEOPLE UNSURE ABOUT MALE RULER
CALANTHA: RAPID RECOVERY BLOWING OUR MINDS, PERHAPS LITERALLY?

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