New Paltz LARP

January 28, 2013


Posted by Sparrow/Druku/Samuel

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On the eve of some day during January of the year 777, King Samuel Exbaltaira of Exbaltaira, first king of the not Halldhor line since ever, attended the Gathering of the Organizational Council to discuss topics ranging from whether Prince Arthanu was in fact King Halldhor, to what crimes Prince Arthanu may or may not have performed during the Fourth War. Touched upon was a conversation regarding the enchanted nature of the Crown of Exbaltaira, a symbol of the State’s strength since King Halldhor first made in in his very own smithy with his very own, ungloved hands. There was also mention of largely irrelevant matters concerning illness in the Kasinthain royal family.
Attending the Council Gathering was King Manchild of Bree, King Matarian of the single worst place on Keimin Famardy, King Honor of Okime, Brother Hairyfeet of the Farthings, Queen Lisette Aoife of Bawerstrom, King Not-Human of Sarenu, King whatshisface of Berista, some orc from Kelta, King Hofuthkorp of Makive, Mkrile of Jarlsjalfi, High Progressor of Calantha, King Aldo from Kasinthia.

The important matters of the Gathering began with Prince Arthanu, son of King Halldhor and royal orphan of the Exbaltairan State. The Prince was brutally beaten by his captives, with a child like fear emanating from his eyes. At some point his captors, some suggest King Samuel himself, mutilated the Prince’s ears, making them round like a human’s.

Arthanu was led to the defendant’s chair, which forces the person sitting in it to tell the entire truth no matter the cost. There he was harassed by scandalous questioning, trying to pin all the (unproven) war crimes of the Fourth War upon him, given that his father was brutally murdered by King Samuel. They went as far as to say that Prince Arthanu actually was King Halldhor during the later half of the war.

Spreading across Keimin is a bizarre conspiracy theory. The Premise: For the past 50,000 years the royal family, with help from the military, has been passing the name “King Haldhor” from son to son while making it seem like one person. Even more bizarre, some insist that the nation of Exbaltaira has only officially existed since year -1000, a paltry 2000 years. This is all despite the very clear, historically validated evidence involving the tragic death of King Halldhor’s many sons in the constant wars that Exbaltaira has seen, as well as official documentation of the State’s existence dating back to well before the other Elvish nations had fully civilized themselves.

With that myth firmly established, the Council nations proceeded to place the blame of the entire war upon Prince Arthanu. This included King Samuel, who viciously attacked the prince. King Samuel has gone on record as supporting the theory that Prince Arthanu was acting as King Halldhor during the later half of the war, during the time that Prince Arthanu was missing (most likely a Council captive). This despite witnesses placing him standing above King Halldhor’s corpse in the throne room of Neva.

Among the accusations was the use of physical and mental torture with the help of a wanted blood mage in the construction of the military group called the “Sons of Arthanu.” There are, yet again, no records of this group, or of any of the rebellions they are said to have led before being converted. Contributing a testimony included one of King Samuel’s advisor’s, hearby named “Mr. Crackles.” No records of a Mr. Crackles exist.

His charges were: genocide, murder, torture of extremes, brainwashing, conspiring against the Council, assault on Council neutral territory, breaking a peace treaty and kidnapping. No evidence for Exbaltair’s involvement in some of these or guilt beyond reasonable doubt for any. Arthanu accepted responsibility of his father’s actions, clearly after much aggressive persuasion prior to the hearing.

His defense, supported by Elder Cupboard of the Council, was that the Crown of Exbaltaira is cursed, and a corrupting force upon the mind of whoever wears it. The Council dismissed this argument, despite the chair forcing the boy to tell the truth. Previously, the Council had aquitted Queen Lisette of the exact same charges with the exact same defense.

The Council ruled guilty and sent him to be the first prisoner of the newly built Council prison. The rest of the Gathering was a self-masturbatory example of roundabout politics and bureaucracy, which King Samuel hopes to bring to the State.


Representative of Complaints (Patrick Ford)



Complainer Reporter Harassed by Tall Freak Human at Gathering

Council yet to return half of Exbaltaira

Onisia River stolen!

Strange stuff going on at Onisia, we guess? Can’t really check.

Generisias family found guilty for holding king of Berista captive

How to Tell if the Kasinthian Times are suing you over their own crappy articles

Complainer to be printed on real paper!

Protest not crushed by military; protesters irate!

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