New Paltz LARP

February 14, 2007


Posted by Sparrow/Druku/Samuel

By: Frank Larry Orangepurple Gold Lampling Cakemaker Smellyshoes Rumormonger III

Two days ago, on the sixth day of the sixth month of the year 770, a strange smell that had begun emanating from a local residence here in the capital city of Kasinthia prompted the local guard to enter. The merchants who live there had been missing for a week beforehand and the smell, along with strange noises, prompted complaints from neighbors. The local guard, who had finally sobered up after a bender at the Haus of Bliss, finally got around to investigating and the grisly scene that greeted them caused more than one guard to lose their lunch (along with one losing his mind). Inside a scene of unimaginable horror, such as this reporter has never seen and will hopefully never see again, greeted the guards and myself. I had managed to elbow my way inside along with the guard, who claimed multiple times that there was, “nothing to see here.”

Inside the poorly decorated house, two blobs that were once a man and woman lay in the center of the rather tackily decorated living room, which also smelled faintly of brimstone. It appears that the two had been turned inside out and begun to rot slightly. This reporter assumed some kind of horrid blood magic ritual gone wrong, but upon closer inspection which involved me poking the things with a stick (which made a funny squishy noise), the two turned out to be alive and the woman was heard to gurgle, “Our son.” Upon searching the house, the guard found a young boy under a table in the aforementioned room, apparently comatose.

The young man, when questioned by this reporter, refused to answer despite shaking him until he cried, thus proving it was his fault. The guards assured this reporter after pushing me rather rudely to the side that that was impossible, as only a powerful blood mage could have done such, but I don’t buy it. Evil blood mage children have been breeding in the sewers for years. Now we’re beginning to see the fruits of it!

After being unceremoniously shoved from the home, I began interviewing the crowd beginning to form around the scene, and I was able to talk to many of the neighbors of the couple. The couple is (or rather, was) named Fredward and Lindalin Achluo. The Achluo’s were a rather unattractive human couple of moderately wealthy merchants who seemed to have dealt primarily in wine and cheese, a very obnoxious and pretentious trade. According to one local woman, they also, “dressed like a couple of tawdry hussies.” The Achluo’s son, who is obviously the one who murdered his parents, is named Dante Achluo and the neighbors all say that the kid was, “weird, quiet, and shy.”

It is obvious that the demonic, blood mage children in our sewers are going to kill us all. This reporter happened to scream something to that effect it in the streets for everyone to hear when they began moving the abominations that were formerly the Achluo’s out of the building for everyone to see. A mob quickly formed and the child was quickly evacuated by the evil-aiding guards.

More to follow dear readers, if the evil abomination-children don’t kill us all before then!

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