August 27, 2014
BREAKING IMPORTANT PSA REGARDING TO THE FAE INVASION
It is with a few newly healed broken limbs that I write this article, readers. As you are all familiar with, All of Keimin was sieged with a strange creature, claiming to be called the “Fae.” The stories vary in end results, but the beginning is universally the same — strange humanoid creatures showed up at our door steps, all of them, and demanded tea, looking for the Eldar.
Reports from Ceres are similar, if not exactly the same.
I, for example, got a fae who asked for tea, nearly knocking over my porcelain as they teleported in, almost divinely so. When I supplied the tea, confused, suspicious, paper and quill at the read, the fae got angry, screeching about how I was supposed to kill them, and how they were supposed to be a casualty.
When I refused to kill them, they flailed in anger. This was when I made a mistake, I said “well, thank you for coming, but now I have to go. Just uh…leave now, no worries about that tea”
The mood completely changed, as many of you are aware of by now. I was wounded, and had to crawl outside for help.
I quickly questioned my housemates in Kasinthia, and found similar stories.
However, the reason I write this article is because I was able to get thus: an exclusive interview with a Fae, who was all too eager to explain everything.
The Fae, called Lessylick, Or Lessie, first admitted that they would tell me all, and immediately teleported away, after I asked the first question. Then, two days later, they showed back up, answering the first question as if I had asked it moments ago. So, below, I present to you a comprehensive guide on how to deal with the Fae:
- DO NOT SAY THANK YOU UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES. If the Fae offers you something, you must say “I appreciate your gift, and in return I offer you my home.” or something to that extent. OR you can give them an actual gift.
- If you do NOT want the gift, you must bow, low, hand on nose, and say “I appreciate what you have given me, but I think that it would best work with someone else.” or something to that extent.
- They appear to have no concept of time. I mentioned hours, minutes, days, and I was only given blank stares.
- They are very invested in their “story” and it has apparently happened many times before. Those Fae, like the one I initially met, had died in previous cycles, and were eager to “die” again.
- The Fae are extremely powerful. They are easily capable of surpassing enchantments, of which my house is stocked with. However, they do not seem entirely aware of their power, and will occasionally be fooled by incredibly simplistic, or complicated traps, depending on their whims.
- They seem to greatly enjoy milk, honey, and alcohol, if you are lacking a gift to give, and cannot return it.
- It should be noted that King Manfred has declared his castle “open refuge” for anyone to send Their Fae Guests to, if they cannot afford to lavish them with proper tea.
- Not all royals have been accounted for, and minor upheavals are breaking across Keimin. It is recommended that you STAY CALM. If someone is missing, prepare a gift, and see if you can encounter a Fae willing to bring them back.
- It seems like lying is not a concept the Fae understand either. I did not attempt to see what would happen if I lied in front of them, and I advise all readers to do the same.
- These Fae are from the “Summer Court”, as apparently different Fae show up depending on the season. Lessie did not speak kindly of the Winter Court, or the unaligned, as they are more rebellious against their “cycle.” It is possible they could be our allies in this travesty — or an enemy. They appear to have similar traditions, however, which should be accounted for when the seasons change.
- When asked for how long they would stay, Lessie merely replied “until the Cycle is done” Due to the lack of understanding of time, the questioning was impossible to decipher, but I was able to figure out the following: The cycle always immediately starts after it ends. Only part of the cycle involves us. The last time they did the cycle, they were looking for The Eldar, which is far beyond any elvish life span, or even our written history.
- They are indeed responsible for the new rocks floating in our sky. Apparently, it is a shattered moon.
In short, be cautious around them, but it is quite possible they could be valuable allies, or destroy us all. However, one thing is for sure, they are probably not going away anytime soon.